Know Your Pigs
Who are the Pigs?
We're a fun-seeking, fast footed soccer team that just loves to kick it up on freshly cut sod.
M-Male, F-Female SP-Soccer Player
Name:
Charlt
Occupation:
Adult Toy Shop and Motorcycle Owner
Can Be found doing at a game:
Giving convoluted non-descript answers in sign language.
Hobbies:
Making goodie bags, taking photos for this goofy website
Code:
F; SP
Name:
Damn!!!!
Occupation:
All time champion Iron Chef
Can Be found doing before a game:
Scaring little children
Can Be found doing during a game:
Making his own team-mates cry.
Can Be found doing after a game:
Looking to see if he can replace the field turf with high-traction grass.
Hobbies:
Sanding drywall, Ripping out perfectly good sinks, and Putting up with Charlt.
Code:
M, SP
Name:
Rachel 'Italia' Jacobs
Occupation:
Italian sausage inspector by day (and night)
Can Be found doing at a game:
Pondering characteristics of the space/time continuum and why younger men won't spend more time in her space
Hobbies:
Younger men, pyrotechnics and amateur basket weaving
Code:
F, SP, ARL
Name:
Jeff
Occupation:
Movie Critics
Can Be found doing at a game:
Getting his crappy saves out of the way
Hobbies:
Hockey, lurking in peoples window trying to watch their movie
Code:
M, SP, ARL,
Name:
Sara
Occupation:
Sheep Herder and Closet Necrophiliac
Can Be found doing at a game:
Wandering around the Dells of Wisconsin seeking to satisfy her insatiable appetite for cheese curd, Miller High Life, Republican fundraising lists and garbage pail kids collector sets
Hobbies:
Giving candy to strange children from her unmarked van, performing in a Devo cover band and charging steak sandwiches to the Underhill's tab.
Code:
F, SP, ARL
Name:
The General
Occupation:
Class President
Can Be found doing at a game:
Checking out his "guns" and selling tickets to his show
Hobbies:
Singing Kareokee, Ripping out kitchens, Eating Bacon
Code:
M, SP, ARL
Name:
'Tracy-The Breck Girl
Occupation:
Fundies' designer for Fredericks of Hollywood
Can Be found doing at a game:
Watching "Orgazmo", doing the Usher dance, and reading "This Week in Neuroscience".
Hobbies:
Imitating little bunny foo foo, modeling mesh bikini's, showing off her gymnasty skillz, dancing to usher (preferably on a bar).
Code:
F, SP, ARL
Name:
Dave a.k.a. "Goal-Scorer Extraordinaire"
Occupation:
Olympic SpeedWalker
Can Be found doing at a game:
Calling out "Patrick, where for art thou Patrick?
Hobbies:
Bumming rides, riding tricycle to soccer games and other fun events, and picking up GW University girls outside his apartment
Code:
M, SP, ARL
Name:
Kristina
Occupation:
Somali Pirate
Can Be found doing at a game:
Doing push-ups mid-game just to make sure she keeps up her beastly pipes.
Hobbies:
Explaining to people that yes Ohio starts with a vowel and ends with a vowel - with a little greeting of "hello" in the middle.
Code:
F, SP, ARL,
Name:
EdVard "the freak" Cassin
Occupation:
Government Mule
Can Be found doing at a game:
Booking a room at the Crystal City Motel
Can Be found doing during a game:
Shouting obscenities to no one in particular.
Can Be found doing after a game:
Having flash backs in the fetal position
Hobbies:
Ear Candling, and long time President of the David Hasselhoff Fan Club
Code:
M, SP, ARL
Name:
Jen
Occupation:
Professional Rhino Trainer
Can Be found doing at a game:
Razzling and dazzling the guys with her mad skills.
Hobbies:
Traveling around Australia looking for her very own Crocodile Hunter.
Code:
F, SP, ARL,
Name:
Ed Hatchet
Occupation:
Male Model
Can Be found doing at a game:
Looking for Olympic Torches and Giant Squid in other countries
Hobbies:
Boogie Bording,
Code:
M, SP, ARL,
Name:
Ashley
Occupation:
Socialite
Can Be found doing at a game:
Kicking butt and taking names or digits
Hobbies:
Breeding Tigers and Lions to create the super animal the Liger
Code:
F, SP, ARL,
Name:
Stoltz
Occupation:
Au Pair and National Geographic Commentator
Can Be found doing at a game:
Practicing dives, kicking field goals
Hobbies:
Sucking thumbs, either his or someone elses.
Code:
M, SP, ARL
Name:
Katie
Occupation:
Can Be found doing at a game:
Hobbies:
Code:
F, SP,
Name:
Kermit, the Frog
Occupation:
Professional fly eater
Can Be found doing at a game:
Looking for Missy Piggy and the rest of the Muppets
Hobbies:
Riding Motorcycles
Code:
M, SP, ARL
Name:
Sean "White Chocolate" O'Brien
Occupation:
"You've got mail bitches"
Can Be found doing at a game:
Kicking the ball as hard as he possibly can with his "no-left-foot"
Hobbies:
Finding hot ladies to make sexy-time with.
Code:
M, SP,
Name:
David "Bandages" Clegg
Occupation:
Professional ER Attendee
Can Be found doing at a game:
Tearing up his opponents, albeit gently trying to abide by his wife's wishes of not injuring himself AGAIN
Hobbies:
Nunchucks, Swords, Kamas, Tonfa, Fluffy bunnies and Looking for Steve B so he can tell him where to go.
Code:
M, SP, ARL
Name:
Fedor "Speedy Gonzalez"
Occupation:
OB/GYN, he plays one on TV
Can Be found doing at a game:
Zipping side to side with the greatest of ease
Hobbies:
Pickle eating contests, Tending to his ice cube garden
Code:
M, SP,
Name:
Jason:White-Lightning
Occupation:
Brown-nosing Bureaucrat Lackey
Can Be found doing at a game:
Trolling around DC for hot 16-18 year-olds
Hobbies:
Tonsil-hockey, working out in Dupont, curling his hair
Code:
M, SP, ARL
Name:
Jay "The Undertaker"
Occupation:
Paper Towel Fashion Designer
Can Be found doing at a game:
Busting bitches up
Hobbies:
Neighborhood tabloid writer, glue guns, canibalism
Code:
M, SP, ARL,
Name:
Kevin
Occupation:
Can Be found doing at a game:
Hobbies:
Code:
M, SP, ARL
Pigs Set Free
Name:
Sarah
Occupation:
Can Be found doing at a game:
Hobbies:
Code:
F, SP,
Name:
B.K.
Occupation:
John Deere Rep
Can Be found doing before a game:
Looking for "Sally"
Hobbies:
Cruising down the Blvd looking to race for pinks
Code:
M; SP, ARL,
Name:
Miki
Occupation:
Professional De-Wrinkler for the Shar-Pei Foundation
Can Be found doing at a game:
Singing the latest song by the former symbol we know as Prince
Hobbies:
Looking for baby penguins
Code:
F, SP, ARL
Name:
"Rae Rae"
Occupation:
Quality Assurance Tester for Guiness
Can Be found doing at a game:
Looking for Gilbert Blythe
Hobbies:
Taking Road Trips, Enjoying Charlt's cooking, Watching AGG
Code:
F, SP, ARL
Name:
"Pigamous Maximus" Cargill
Occupation:
Geek
Can Be found doing at a game:
Yes
Hobbies:
sailing, soccer and the consumption of an occasional malted beverage, hiking the AT and putting up with Charlt.
Code:
M; SP
Name:
9 Fingers
Occupation:
PBR and PBR Drinker
Can Be found doing before a game:
Hanging out being cool
Can Be found doing during a game:
Being "THAT" guy
Can Be found doing after a game:
Rocking out to "Here We Go Again' by Whitesnake
Hobbies:
Skiing, Pudding Mud Wrestling and Putting up with Charlt.
Code:
M; SP
Name:
Loye a.k.a Queensnake
Occupation:
Not so secret, Secret Agent
Can Be found doing at a game:
Re-bugging the Watergate Hotel
Hobbies:
Catching Butterflies, Organizing her equipment and watching episodes of the A-Team
Code:
F; SP
Name:
Heather
Occupation:
Marvel Comic Crime Fighter
Can Be found doing at a game:
Playing "It's a Wondrful Life" on the harmonica
Hobbies:
Hot Air Ballooning
Code:
F; SP
Name:
Bad Andy
Occupation:
Voice over artist for Chief Wiggum and Ralph Wiggum on the Simpsons
Can Be found doing at a game:
Trying to get his 15 minutes of fame by removing his shirt and attempting to make a cameo on COPS
Hobbies:
Arresting people and telling them he is the Chief of Police of the United States; Collecting hand cuffs, thumb cuffs, restraints, and police batons of assorted shapes and sizes; closet collector of all the Police Academy Movies.
Code:
M; SP
Name:
Snyder
Occupation:
Apartment handyman
Can Be found doing at a game:
Hitting Mrs. Romano, I mean hitting ON Mrs. Romano
Hobbies:
Organizing his work belt
Code:
M; SP
Name:
BK1
Occupation:
Project Manager US Postal Inspection Service
Can Be found doing at a game:
I like to hang out with Glance and Hurley before the game and the rest of the team afterwards
Hobbies:
Shaking envelopes for white powder
Code:
F; SP
Name:
Helfen
Occupation:
Software Engineer by day, professional "free stuff" winner by night
Can Be found doing at a game:
Can often be seen depriving myself of sleep...it is my super power
Hobbies:
Code:
M; SP
Name:
Jen "Lolita" Grant
Occupation:
"Official President" of the Little People Fan Club
Can Be found doing at a game:
Talking about Little People
Hobbies:
Picking up little people to figure out how much they weigh
Code:
F; SP
Name:
Daniel
Occupation:
Action Photo
Can Be found doing at a game:
Action Photo
Hobbies:
Action Photo
Code:
M; SP
Name:
Teddy
Occupation:
Action Photo
Can Be found doing at a game:
Action Photo
Hobbies:
Action Photo
Code:
M; SP
Know Your Pigs
